Vulnerability

I'll be honest, I've cut my meds down alittle. I cut my Lamictal to 100 instead of 200mg, I hardly ever remember to take it at night anyway, and I cut my Cymbalta from 90 to 60mg. I guess if I freak out, I will go back to the regular dosage, but at the moment I feel really good. I am still lethargic, but I have decided that is just my nature. I don't know if its stress, boredom, or what, but I am just tired all the time. I don't think it has anything to do with meds. Anyway, I thought I would throw in that update.

I tried the centering prayer last night. I tried to concentrate really hard and said "Abba" over and over again. To tell the truth, it was almost uncomfortable because I felt really vulnerable -but that's good. I felt something I haven't before. I have felt God's presence in my life, but this was a different feeling. I cant really describe it, other than a vulnerability that I think I have never given to Him before. It was scary sort of, but in a good way. I felt like my prayers where sincere and heard. I think I will try it more often. I think saying the word Abba over and over again really helped me concentrate, and as we all know, I have major difficulty with that. I really felt more of a trust with the Lord also, which was interesting. I felt like I was giving Him my whole self. Sometimes during rushed prayer, or prayer when I cant concentrate, I feel like I am holding back my deepest self. I liked the centering thing. I will defini tely try it more often, maybe with different words. It was pretty cool.