Trust (again)

Ever feel like your life is constantly shattered? Broken? And you cant do a thing about it? I feel that way all the time. Tonight I read something that said “You only love God as much as you trust Him, and you only trust Him as much as you love Him.” So, with my shattered life, I have to trust God to have some hefty crazy glue. That’s hard. When you've been hurt so badly by the human experience, when you don’t have any friends, the very few you have wont pick up the phone when you call, basically life sucks. I think that’s the point though. We have to trust God that what lies in the next life will be better. I hope so. Its so hard for me to trust. People aren’t truthful, people don’t care, people hurt you…but God is not like that and that’s hard to fathom because all we experience right now is earthly. God is true, real, and means what He says. He says He loves us no matter what we do; He’s always there to answer the phone when all you need is to hear a voice. I’m getting better at realizing this. My prayer life has improved. I caught myself talking to God driving home from the coffee shop tonight, and that’s how I like it. I like just talking to Him as a friend. He’s the best friend we can have. He comforts, protects, loves unconditionally….and we have to trust that. I hope one day I can completely, without any hindrance – trust…with all my heart and soul. I will pray about it tonight. I want to trust more and more so badly.