Weird, Wild Stuff

I must say that I am feeling quite interesting today. I’ve been feeling pretty weird since about ummmm….Thursday, I guess. I cant even really describe how I feel, but I will try to come up with a little better description than just “weird”. I feel like I’ve had about 5 shots of expresso & some kind of antihistamine. I’m tired even though I slept for a long time yesterday & last night, I’m hyper-emotional to the point of not knowing if I want to laugh or cry, & I’m depressed – but not to the point of being suicidal. I’m pretty anxious too. I’m also having some visual things go on….I feel a bit whacked out to say the least.

I called the clinic to tell them of my wonderful condition, and my meds were changed alittle. Here’s the run down now: 300mg Effexor, 7.5mg Zyprexa, and 150mg Lamictal. I’m hoping that the Zyprexa kind of chills me out tonight. I feel like I need to gather myself. I feel scattered. I haven’t been able to concentrate on work today to save my life. I feel like I have a bundle of creative energy, which is always fun…but when you are seeing tiny bunny rabbits with purple eyeballs, things aren’t right. I haven’t been able to eat much for the past couple of days…that doesn’t bother me so much though since Ive gained about 900 pounds since starting the Zyprexa…but I guess that’s not good.

D. is going to a boxing class tonight & then he’s coming over….poor dude. I hope I chill by the time he gets here. Dean is coming over to try to help me put my foot pegs on my bike….that should be cool. I’m ready to see how they’re going to look.

Anyway, its been a strange day mood wise. You know, I wonder – Do any bipolar people find a med combo that works for an extended period of time? It just seems like things fluctuate often with me…and it seems like we’re always tweaking something. A combo will work for a while and then, out of the blue, things change, so the meds change. I’m just wondering if it will always be like that.