It's My Party

Today is my birthday. I’m 26. A lot of people don’t like their birthdays because they’re older…so far Ive not minded the getting older part. I guess I probably wont like that part eventually, but I don’t really think about it now. I’ve never been a big birthday person… I’ve had some crappy stuff happen on my birthdays in the past, so I definitely never look forward to this day rolling around. However, today hasn’t been bad so far….its been non-eventful. It’s probably the most laid back birthday Ive had in a long time. I think me and my friend Dean are gonna go to the Harley store this afternoon and look at parts for my bike…Nothing like chrome for your birthday! I think we’re gonna try to get in a couple of beers somewhere along the line too. That’s my birthday plans.

D. stayed with me all weekend. I think I try my best to come up with reasons not to like him….maybe it’s a security thing…if I don’t like him too much then it wont be a big deal if things don’t work out. I like hanging out with him. It was nice to have someone at the house…I am used to being alone though, and I get claustrophobic being at the house 24/7 (gotta have BAM & Starbucks trips), so I was kind of needing a break by this morning. I totally had a breakdown Sat. night…poor guy….but he handled it very well and didn’t seem too terribly freaked out…and he stayed, so I guess I didn’t scare him too bad. He really was comforting & didn’t make me feel freakish (although I was thinking that I am very freakish and it was embarrassing). I just don’t want to get used to someone being with me all the time. It took me FOREVER to get used to sleeping alone and being alone in general…and now I’m not sure that I want to get used to someone again & have to go through all that again at this point in time. We’ll see….I’m just going with the flow.

I know I’ve been out of communication the past few days so I wanted to check in and let everyone know that I’m alive, I’ve just had company.