2010
I know I havent written in forever, but I've had a few comments so I thought I would send an update.
Life is pretty good right now. My meds have been the same for a while and seem to be working well. I am on Lamictal, Cymbalta and Limbitrol. Married life is treating me just fine and I have been pretty stable for a long time. I am still smoking, which really sucks.
I hope that all is well with everyone. If there is one thing I've learned through the process of being diagnosed and living with bipolar disorder is that it takes a lot of work and patience to make it. I have worked my butt of to try to tame this thing. Things arent perfect, of course, there are still ups and downs. I imagine my ups and down are still more severe than the average persons'. Thats life for me and I have to manage things the best I can and I have really good support from a few loved ones...I've been lucky in that sense. There are a few people who have hung in there with me through some rough stuff.
I still have the fear that one day I will just completely lose my mind. Perhaps thats a bit healthy though. I think that fear drives me to do the best I can NOW so things don't go sour later.
The worst part of this has been the process of getting the right meds. Its a terrible feeling to feel like a guinea pig. Thankfully, it finally happened for me. That doesnt mean these meds will work forever though and I am aware of that. I just try to take things as they come and pay attention to my moods so I can catch myself before life spins out of control one way or the other.
I havent written in a while because I have been really busy with work and with school. I will receive my Masters degree in December and I have a job that I love (most of the time!).
I am ready to start a family. Are there any bipolar women out there that have gone through this? I do not want to take much medication if I can get pregnant to reduce the risk of problems with the baby. With the economy how it is, I am not sure how soon we will try, but I am attempting to get myself ready for it. I need all the advice I can get. We aren't really encouraged to have children, I know...but my husband and I really love kids and I hope it can happen for us.
later everyone. hope all is well.
posted by Jil at 6:31 AM
7 Comments:
hey. i just came across your blog randomly and have only read a few entries. but, i wanted to say thanks. i don't know anyone in my immediate life who is bipolar or understands it (aside from my therapist & psychiatrist) so it's nice to find something/someone to relate to. keep it up.
9:14 PM
My best friend is BP II and she went cold turkey when she got pregnant 15 months ago. I was scared to death for her...bad depressions. But, she felt wonderful during pregnancy without meds. I have heard that many women even out while pregnant but I didn;t believe it till I saw my friend go through it. She felt poorly after the birth so she is back on meds. Congratulations on trying. Zoloft is the only med I know of that may be okay to take. which isn't much for bipolar treatment.
6:51 PM
Go for it Jil - as they say, it's your life and you only get one shot at it. I am BP I and PTSD and I have 3 children, 6, 4 and 1. They said I'd never do it, I was too mad, and for a while I believed them. My 20's were tough, and lost to drugs, hospital admissions and reclusive living. Then I gradually changed everything becoming stable on my drugs, had a good therapist. I then met my husband and the rest is history... I put myself through all sorts of tests before I had my first child (at 34), I went on to Gabapentin and failed, I talked to Gyno's and my GP, my psych etc. But in the end it was up to me and my husband. There were no guarantees about ANYTHING -the health of the baby, my health, PND. But we so wanted a child we had to take that huge step into the unknown.It is worth it, believe me. I had PND after each child, but I was used to depression I just worked through it. I had Ante-natal Anxiety with my daughter, but had lots of rest and support and got through it. My last child was a surprise and my Epilim caused him to have Spina Bifida. This has been harder to work through. It is something we all work with everyday, and will for the rest of our lives. So I advise everyone to take LOTS OF FOLATE. If you really want a family and you have support from family, friends and doctors, then go for it.
I hope that some of this may be of help.
12:31 AM
Thanks all.
Kat, I really appreciate your comments. I am 31 and it sounds like my twenties were similar to yours! Your comment gave me a much needed lift and hope. I hope your family continues to be blessed.
6:48 PM
You don't know me but I stumbled across your blog today. I have BP 1 disorder. I had a little girl in May of 2010. My psychiatrist and I discussed medication and pregnancy. I was on 300 mg of lamictal and she is perfect and had no birth defects. He did tell me that there is a slightly higher risk of cleft lip and cleft palate. After weighing the risks and the benefits I stayed on my medication. I am going to try and get pregnant again in August so I am working with the doctor to start lowering my lamictal again. Good luck. My E-mail is shelliewhite@ymail.com if you ever want to chat.
8:50 AM
Thanks Shellie, don't be surprised if I show up in your inbox :) I appreciate the support so much. I think the Lamictal scares me the worst, but Klonopin is worse than it I think. I don't take it often and most of the time I am fine. It seems I use one or 2 a month now.
6:42 AM
Great to see that you are interested in having a family...don't let having BP stop you from following your desire...I am BP and have been for 15 years and about 4 and 1/2 years ago I wanted to conceive. Same as you, unsure of getting off meds or staying on, I consulted with top doctors in Boston (the only ones that have real documentation of bipolar women and the effects of meds on their children) and they told me that Lithium had the best documentation. Unfortunately, lithium was the very drug that I could not tolerate in the past. I decided to get off meds, and while I was lucky enough to conceive, I had an episode that was pretty bad. During the pregnancy I could not get stabilized on mood meds (because of the pregnancy) but I could take Trilifon which helped. In the last trimester, I got on Lamictal which proved to be a saving grace because I also had no post-partum. Today I am still on it. I was terrified throughout the entire ordeal, and had tried everything in my power not to take meds for the baby, but I came to see (for me) that it was very important for me to be well...and perhaps more important for the baby. So here I am, years later with my beautiful, happy and healthy 3 1/2 year old boy, Jack. He is a dream. Would I ever go through it again to have another? No. But I am so happy I decided to because a whole world has opened up to me as a result...one of joy and fun and love....There are lots of ways to go about the pregnancy. My best advice? Find a good doctor who is willing to walk with you through it. If that means getting off meds, or staying on and taking the right ones at the right times, then fine. Only you can be your best advocate. It's a risk in any way you looki at it. But it's a risk that can bring in high rewards as well. Good luck! Jen S.
9:37 AM
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