Raving Lunatic

I am just down right angry at the world for no apparent reason. I have no reason at all to be mad, no one to blame, just my own personal weirdness. I couldn�t even sleep last night I was so mad. It was like I was just brewing over with anger and my mind wouldn�t stop. I get so aggravated with people. People leave you, hurt you, hate you, fail you, betray you�thankfully I have a God that doesn�t do any of those things. I prayed and prayed last night to have this anger lifted from me. My anger made me doubt God, I was mad at even Him - for nothing I might add, I just don�t know what my deal is. I prayed that He�d help me hand it all over to Him, that he�d forgive me for my doubts, and then I just really couldn�t say anything else to Him. He knows what goes on in my head though, I thought I would just shut up and let Him work on me.  I shouldn�t depend on people, I should depend on Him. Man, its hard though because people are visible and God isn�t. I know we aren�t supposed to be comfortable in this world because we aren�t of this world�we are aliens, belonging in heaven, but I am ready to fast forward to heaven. This living stuff is making me crazy. I am feeling alittle better this morning even though I am only operating on about 2 and a half hours of sleep. Maybe the sleep thing will settle once I get in school for a couple of weeks. I don�t feel like I am nervous or anything, but maybe it has something to do with it? I don�t know.

 

Do any of you get angry for no reason? I mean, this would make sense if someone really pissed me off, but life has been going along like normal. I�m not even irritable, I�m just freaking pissed off. I�m sure there is some deeply rooted psychological reason that can only be explained by Freud, but that�s doing me no good. I am having some paranoia too. Not really bad. I don�t think people are going to try to invade my house or anything, I�m just having weird social phobia or something. People are making me nervous. Its weird. Its not good that people are making me nervous and I have to go to school this afternoon where there are 9 zillion people in a hurry to get to their classes. I�m sure I will make it though. I need like a double shot of Abilify I think.