Under Attack
I swear I feel like demons are stabbing me in the brain or something. A friend pointed out that I could be under attack by demons because I had been doing so well getting back on track. I feel under attack. I feel really drained. I slept allll day after work yesterday and all night. I thought I would feel better this morning, but nooooo, I still feel really crappy. I�m having a lot more suicidal ideation than normal. I have it all the time, but its pretty intense right now. My whole body still hurts like it did when I was really sick. I get so tired of feeling like this. How can you get rid of demons? I know yall probably think I am crazy for thinking this. I don�t think I am possessed or anything. I just feel like I am being slowly tortured. Maybe I am being tested�or maybe I am just frickin bipolar and am feeling shitty.
posted by Jil at 6:42 AM
4 Comments:
Jil,
I've been throught for the same situation you are. Well, I'm not feel as someone has stabbed me but the feeling's someone has hit me as harder as I've never felt before (I used to play rugby and I know how a good punch can hurt!). After you have to know "It's easy to die, living is the difficult thing!" or something like this Annie Lennox said in a wonderful song that I right now I do not remember its title. All my love darling, these hardtimes will pass soon. I'm pretty sure. Kisses!
7:59 AM
That's what Satan does. He has no need to send his demons to torture someone who is still lost. Satan goes after Christians when they are getting back on their feet, when they are getting stable enough to do God's will, when they are doing incredible things to witness to others. That's what I believe anyway. I feel like demons have been attacking my brain, as you say, extra hard for several months, and it is hard to define truth from the lies they feed us day in and day out. The thing that helps me more than anything is to read the bible. It may be the last thing in the world I feel like doing that day, but if I read even just a little it helps. It really does. The bible says "Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you." (James 4:7) I also think of when Jesus was tempted by Satan and He used scripture to fight what Satan was trying to trick Him into believing. Prayer is also important. It is very hard for me to pray when I am in such a deep dark hole of confusion, but sometimes just saying "God help me" or "Jesus" gives me some more strength and it weakens the devil's grasp.
I hope what I wrote helps, I've been so groggy lately I have a hard time making my words come out right :)
8:26 AM
I found the title and the exactly quote of the song I wrote down lately. It's "Cold" from Annie Lennox's CD "Diva" and it says:
"Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death"
xxx
11:06 AM
"or maybe I am just frickin bipolar and am feeling shitty"
I vote for that.
Don't minimise it by saying "just".
But what you're describing sounds perfectly legit for people like us. Ride it out, love. You'll come out the other side, into a lighter, brighter place. Talk to us. Write. Just do what you need to be safe.
3:26 PM
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