The Week From Hell
So far the cigarette thing is better today, so I can’t whine about that. I woke up this morning wanting one, but I guess I’ll probably do that for a long time. I’ve always liked smoking in the winter, I didn’t pick a good time to quit….but I guess any time is better than not doing it at all. I don’t even want to talk about it today. I’ve made it a whole week, so I am kinda proud of that. I’m still shaky and its getting on my nerves. BUT Ive made it a whole entire week without a cigarette….I feel like I’ve accomplished something major and it kind of rejuvenates my desire to quit for good. So that’s cool. I’m feeling good about it so far today.
My other ailments are another story, so at least I have the cig accomplishment to brighten my spirit alittle bit. I’m still just down and out in general. I still don’t feel good. My tooth hasn’t bothered me too much, just every once in a while I feel like someone has jabbed an ice pick in my temple.
I feel like doing NOTHING at all, but then I feel like shit for doing nothing. D has been around for the past couple of days and has forced me out of the house a couple of times. I have wanted to kill him for that reason, but he still lives, so all is well I suppose. I’ve wanted to sleep 24/7 and he has made me stay awake and at least partially function as a human. He’s earned his keep this week….maybe….
I have been pretty much worthless this week though. I feel like I am playing the “see if you can use every bit of leave time you have in a week” game at work. When I’m at work, I am oblivious and can think of nothing but being under my covers at home. I have no energy….still cant eat, which is probably the cause of the energy crisis….just about every part of my body hurts excluding my feet, legs, arms, and hands….and my arms are questionable because of the nicotine patch rashes.
I go see my NP on the 13th…maybe we can get the depression thing under control. I am sure it has a lot to do with the holidays, the cig thing, and other crap. Yesterday I wanted to die a painful death and today isn’t so bad…I want to die, but not painfully ;)
posted by Jil at 9:27 AM
9 Comments:
Problem solving is made much easier when there is more than one solution-logically (obviously).
So if one’s genes play a role (big or small) in addiction , then that factor should be considered as a probable solution. Let’s say genes play a role-then so called “will power” as a solution alone is ineffective, and could actually negate all your hard work. When one is attempting to quit an addiction through “will power “alone, one can become extremely frustrated- and what goes along with that are feelings of self-defeat, loss of control…depression. Therefore, assuming part of your addiction is completely out of your control should be encouraging. Because there are medications that can take care of that which you cannot. I am trying to quite as well- this info is helpful to me- hope I did not discourage you! Tiffany
(Wellbutrin, Zyban and the latest-Varenincline.)
Here is some info-
TIME magazine website
VARENINCLINE
From Pfizer, Varenincline is the first non-nicotine agent developed to help smokers quit. The pills activate the nicotine receptor, fooling the smoker into thinking his craving has been satisfied. In a seven-week trial, researchers reported a 50% quit rate, an improvement over the 7%-10% success with the patch or gum after six months.
-OR-
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/NWS/content/NWS_1_1x_Experimental_Drug_Helps_Smokers_Quit.asp
11:39 AM
...interesting... Ive tried Wellbutrin for depression and it made me angry. I thought it would help me quit, but I smoked just as much. The varenincline sounds interesting, maybe I'll give it a shot if the patches dont work (lets hope they do)....Im not discouraged!
12:00 PM
Well, I'm not quitting smoking, but I feel the same way about sleep and work right now. So you're not alone in that.
We do what we always do... plug ahead as best we can with what we got and hope it turns out for the best.
And I hate being dragged out when I don't want to go... hate it. But I love my friends for seeing I'm hurting and trying to help.
1:46 PM
Get out! See some people! They deserve to see you.
6:47 PM
Jil,
I'm extremely proud of you for not smoking. Dec.3 was 2 years for me; I'd smoked for over 30 years.I used the patch too, sometimes I just used 1/2 a patch because they made me too shaky. It was like over amping.
If you can, start thinking of yourself as a non-smoker. Think of that little kitty you don't want to die. (yes, I'm evil & am going to hell) Seriously, it won't ever get any easier than this time. I know you can do this, if I could, anybody could.
You're dealing with a lot right now so maybe try & take it easier than normal? Hot chocolate, yummy. Cuddle by the fire. Snow ball fights. (hopefully you've got the snow, cuz i don't)
You'll be in my thoughts & prayers. Just don't take the 1st hit, k? :)
8:08 PM
OK, you can probably give yourself a ride on the non-nicotine stuff except get that tooth checked. I'm betting that you have an abcess and if you don't get that thing managed by having a root canal, you could find yourself in more pain than you thought existed in the universe. (And I can call myself on an expert on how that feels because I've had eighteen of them.)
Now on depression issues: has your pdoc tried you on Lamictal? It's often prescribed to keep you stable after the antidepressants have done their trick. I'm on it and think very well of its effects. Just be very precise in following your pdoc's instructions on taking it.
Yeah, I hated Wellbutrin, too. It was a no fun drug.
8:57 PM
my doctor presribed me lamictal today- i start it in the AM. As well i am trying to quit- i well let you know if it helps as far as not smoking- be easy on yourself. Tiffany
9:41 PM
Will keep you in my thoughts!
:* Princess
7:27 AM
jane - 2 years, huh. thats awesome. i'm going by the days at the moment. 8 days today if i can make it until tonight. No snow here...ever, Im in MS :(
joel - i've had an abcess or 2 myself, they suck bigtime. the tooth isnt worrying me too bad at the moment. my dang wisdom tooth is bothering much more.
I'm on 200mg of Lamictal a day. Ive been on it for 2 years and I think it does a good job, my moods arent up and down as often.
tiffany - let me know how the no smoking thing is going!
9:20 AM
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