yucky
Ok, ok, I didn’t smoke it. I'm working on day 6. I’m really thinking of smoking it right now. The only thing that keeps me hanging on at the moment is the fact that I don’t want to be the first in our little quitting group to smoke….but I want to SOOOOO BAD.
All I can do is cry right now. I feel really shitty. My tooth isn’t hurting today, thank God. I don’t think I could take it. Every slight thing is getting on my nerves and I don’t want to be at work and I don’t want to be at home. The sad thing about it is that Im still getting nicotine through the patch, God knows how I’d be if I wasn’t.
I don’t think the depression has anything to do with cigarettes though. I stopped taking my abilify about a week ago…..maybe not the smartest thing Ive ever done, but I didn’t think I needed it. I started hearing footsteps last night and noises that sounded like a radio playing far far away. I hate being bipolar. Right now I hate being alive, but I guess I have no choice in the matter.
posted by Jil at 7:36 AM
5 Comments:
Everyday you wake up breathing is a good one.
And without smoking, you'll be breathing better.
See how that works?
{wink}
9:38 AM
Im breathing today and it pretty much sucks :(
11:05 AM
what if your addiction to nicotene is completely controlled be your genes- or your chemical levels, dopamine-seretonin. And all your hard work is vien? Do you find yourself smoking more when you are hypomanic? The more anti-depressants they give me the less I smoke- without trying to quit. I hear music at night too- classical, I used to always get up to check my stereo- but now I am starting to think it may be from this bipolar 2 shit. I may be rambling... here is some info i found on genes and smoking------------------------------------------------------------
New Study on Smoking and Genetics Underway [01/14-1]
Excerpts from Your Health: Smokers
AAP [01/14/00]
BRISBANE - A new study is underway to find out why some smokers can quit while others fail to give up the habit.
The study at Brisbane's Prince Charles Hospital will compare genetic differences through DNA testing of 300 smokers and ex-smokers, said thoracic physician Kwun Fong.
"The natural variations in genes may show how they affect smoking habits and an individual's ability to stop smoking," Dr Fong said.
"Variations in dopamine genes control various bodily functions, the normal variations between people, and these may affect an individual's predisposition to smoking and smoking cessation," he said.
Despite anti-smoking campaigns, about a quarter of the population smoked, Dr Fong said.
"But we don't have a full understanding of why some people take it up and others don't," he said.
Dr Fong said the study could help reduce the huge health costs of smoking.
A parallel study would try to determine if genetic abnormalities were linked to lung cancer in smokers.
"We know lung cancers are caused by genetic and molecular changes in two genes which regulate cell growth and division," Dr Fong said.
"If we can show a strong link between genetic abnormalities and smoking, it adds extra reinforcement to help people stop."
The study would also help to demonstrate precisely how tobacco smoke leads to lung cancer.
Dr Fong said it could also pave the way for early diagnosis and intensive prevention for people predisposed to lung cancer.
2:57 PM
Tiffany: What was that supposed to prove to Jil?
Jil: You go girl! Don't give up! It's like your Disease: just because you have the genes, doesn't mean you got to wear them as they are!
6:19 PM
I guess if its my genes, Im fucked.
9:03 AM
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