doc
2 weeks, no cigs!! I still feel shitty though.
I was expecting a miraculous recovery after my appointment with my NP yesterday…but things don’t work that way. It was an interesting visit. Basically, I’m back on Abilify.,,,which I wasn’t totally thrilled over, but whatever…if it makes me better, I will take it. She said that it boosts dopamine and apparently that’s a lot of my problem. I’ll take her word for it. She said that smoking has something to do with dopamine too and that the Abilify should help some with cravings.
My eyes were doing something weird. One of them was really dilated and the other was small. She works in a neuro clinic also & she made me do some stuff like stand on my tiptoes and push her hands with my arms and stuff. She wanted to do a brain MRI, but I just had one in March. She said it may be my neck or my back, so I have to have an MRI to see if I’ve got something messed up. I go to the doctor for that on the 22nd…hopefully I can get the MRI done this year since Ive met my insurance deductible. I don’t think anything is wrong though, my back doesn’t really hurt. My lower back has an uncomfortable feeling sometimes, but I sit at a desk all day long. My feet and legs fall asleep alot, but I thought that was from sitting on my ass all the time too. Guess I’ll know soon enough.
I was late to work again, I still haven’t cleaned my nasty house….I just have NO energy at all. Poor D wants to go out and do stuff and I am a bitch and don’t want to do anything but lay on my couch in the dark….but I go with him and am miserable most of the time and resent him for making me do something when all I want to do is stay under my covers.
Maybe in a couple of days the Abilify will kick in and I’ll feel better. Guess I shouldn’t have played doctor with my head in the first place. I will leave that to medical professionals from now on.
posted by Jil at 9:09 AM
6 Comments:
Congratualtions on 2 weeks. Two weeks more and it will be a full month.
I understand the not wanting to go out. I so did not want to get out of bed this morning and go anywhere. I'm having trouble sleeping for longer than an hour at a stretch, and interacting with people is the last thing I want to do.
But you got a good head on your shoulders. You'll figure it all out someday.
And then you'll share the secret with the rest of us. ;)
10:21 AM
You're making it!
Your role is to keep track of the side-effects. You need to write these down every day and tell your doctor(s) what you experience so they can mark trends and make appropriate adjustments.
You are every bit ~as part~ of your diagnostic process as they are. If you drop either party from the determination, you get bad treatment. And your psychiatrist knows this.
I keep a mood chart and a record of unusual symptoms that I show to all of my doctors. Once, for example, I mentioned a persistant cough to my cardiologist even though it wasn't his province. He checked my meds and changed my high blood pressure med because it was known for producing such coughs. Within three days the cough was gone.
If I'd kept my mouth shut, I'd still have that cough and wondering why. I would have sucked my steroid inhalers and made myself manic.
So keep that in mind, Jil. You need to observe yourself and report what you observe to your doctors. This is a partnership that you have, not a master-slave relationship.
1:09 PM
Its weird Joel, Ive tried to keep a mood chart before...I even found one that you can keep online, but I never was consistent with doing it. I can write here every day, but I couldnt go and put a few things about how I was feeling on the mood chart. It was a really cool one too, it made monthly charts for you and everything.
I work with my NP well, she is very cool. I'm pretty good at knowing whats going on as far as side effects go and shes pretty good at dragging it out of me when I dont want to talk.
2:04 PM
Hang in there. Hope things improve for you.
7:17 PM
As time goes by! Congrats on the two weeks. I tried to self-medicate a few times, almost always ended up a mess afterward. I think I learned more about my body after the last time so I no longer stick things in my mouth that over-medicate me. Anyway, hope you continue to do well. Peace and grace.
8:50 PM
I'm glad you're learning not to self-medicate. Sometimes I tweak my meds, but try to stay w/in what I'm allowed to take.
Congratulations on the 2 weeks. That is a long time for not smoking. Please remind yourself, if you get tempted, that you've gone thru the toughest time & you don't want to go thru this again. I wouldn't associate the non-smoking with the lack of energy. Keep NOT smoking. I am very proud of you.
12:18 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home