No Motivation

Well, my brothers headlights in his truck went out last night, so he didnt make it to my house. It was a bummer and I had nothing else to do. I did draw a tiny bit, but quickly got bored with it and quit. I wish I could sit down for hours like I used to. Drawing always helped my mood, but I just cant do it these days.

 

I am very busy at work, so I have actually made it all day for quite a while. I left alittle early yesterday because I thought my brother was coming down, but I dont count that as vacation time since I worked on the 4^th and was able to take a few minutes of holiday time. I am doing well as far as work is concerned. No raise for me though, apparently we dont have the money to do it right now, but I was told that they would try again in a few months. Bummer. I was really bummed out about it yesterday, but somehow I expected it not to happen, so I wasnt that upset.

 

I am still very lethargic. I really dont want to do anything but sleep. I havent even played my new guitar since Tuesday. I think I will play it this afternoon. I found a bunch of Blue October tab so I am looking forward to learning some new songs. Maybe that will give me some incentive to actually do something today. I have no other plans, as usual.

 

Ever feel like your life is going nowhere? Maybe I will have some sort of motivation once school starts. I hope so. My motivation, concentration, and every other �tion is not really in the positive right now. I just dont do anything and it bothers me, obviously. I go to see my NP this month, so maybe she will have some incite as to why I feel like a knot on a log. I am not too sure there is much that can be done about it. Theres always the scare of going into manic mode if something is adjusted too much. I am wishing for a little bit of mania though. I would give up the knot on the log status for a bit of creativity and motivation even if it means being irritable. My vistaril would help me sleep.

 

Anyway, on with the day.