More Whining

Ah, another day. I must say that hanging out with my family yesterday was fun. We played guitars and had hamburgers and hotdogs and all of that good stuff. It was good to have a day to kind of chill. I worked part of the day, but I took off around lunchtime, so it didn�t seem like I worked all that much. I did get a lot done though. I am working on a virtual tour. I like doing that, so work isn�t much work, its more fun than anything else.

 

I took a Vistaril to sleep last night and I feel hungover. My day is not going very well. Its going to be a long couple of months, long story as to why. I am not sure why Ive been so down, I feel myself slipping farther and farther down the spiral. I thought that if I slept last night I would feel better today, but that hasnt been the case. I feel heavy or something. I dont know how else to explain it. I just want to lie down and be by myself in a cold room with lots of covers to hide under. I wish I felt all cheery and wonderful. I usually feel better in the summer than I do in the winter, but this year I think they have been about the same � crappy. I guess that says that my mood stabilizer is working, but I wish my mood was better. I feel stuck at a 3.7 when I�d like to be stuck at at least a 5.5 on the Bipolar Richter Scale (which I make up whenever I feel like it).

 

I really have no plans for the rest of the week. I got some new guitar software and my brother may come down and stay Thursday night to play with it, but Im not sure yet. I need to clean up my house. Its still in depressive mode, and since I feel this cloud like thing that means my depression will get worse, I need to clean to prepare ahead. If not, I will be living in a trash heap.

 

I put new pictures on my myspace page if anyone wants to go look its at www.myspace.com/sunraven0.

 

I hope this day goes quickly. Arggghhh.