before the gun
posted by Jil at 4:07 PM
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Previous Posts
- faith & pain (marker)
- hurt (pencil)
- nightmare (watercolor)
- another day
- Its a Monday...again
- I feel like a knot on a log
- In my head, In my head - Zombie, Zombie, Zombieee
- Still Crazy
- Weird, Wild Stuff
- Thanks You Guys
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6 Comments:
Are you the fabulous artist?
2:53 PM
I did draw these...I wouldnt really call me an artist tho :)
3:57 PM
You're way too modest! This picture has so much feeling! I've been where he is. That's an artist... :) You are very talented.
7:34 AM
Thanks a lot...I usually dont let people see what I draw, but since this is my secret place (which is becoming less and less secret), I thought I'd post a few things.
I was feeling like this guy when I drew this. I feel like this guy a lot.
10:20 AM
Thanks for sharing yourself and your art. "Before The Gun" made me think about myself and challenged me to put into words my own time before the gun. The method I picked also allowed me time after the gun. I'm not usually emotional-in fact I never cried before my time. But I cried then. I couldn't stop. I'd made up my mind and took enough of my medication to kill a horse. I didn't realize my tolerance was too high & I thought that I had really done it (it was actually my second attempt). The bad part was waiting the 30 minutes or so until I lost consciousness. I had to keep deciding to do it over and over because I could have gotten help at any time.
I survived, obviously, and life has gotten better. Anyway, when I say that I've been there, I really have.
It took some pretty powerful art to take me back 17 years to the lowest point in my life.
Thanks for sharing.
Maybe your secret place isn't so secret anymore. Maybe that's good. Maybe those who love you and know you will be more attentive.
Hang in there.
4:19 PM
I quit drawing in 7th grade. I spent a lot of time working on a drawing of a man with a gun in his mouth. It was in my notebook and my dad went thru my stuff, took the drawing, and used it against my mom in court...trying to prove her unfit. I'm really sensitive about my artwork because I only started doing it again a few years ago.
I'm really speechless that you guys identify with this one...its the drawing Ive done that I really feel like I captured some of my pain in.
I've been there. I took a handful of Demerol once and was quite pissed when I woke up. I've put a belt around my neck more than once....strung myself up in my closet, only to chicken out moments before passing out.
Thanks for sharing that part of you and your experiences. I feel honored that youd share it with me.
7:15 PM
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