D & Me & Other Things (Q & A)

Q: When are you going to give us the scoop on D?

A: Well, I can do that now.

D came over Sunday night. I knew all day that I was going to have to talk to him about things. I tried my best to avoid him coming over, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer…so he showed up.

He told me that he had spent the weekend in jail because he was drinking with his friend and the friend threw a beer bottle at a cop car (he obviously hangs out with geniuses). Anyway, I sort of used that as ammunition.

I told him that we needed to have a serious relationship discussion and he rolled his eyes. I told him that I’m almost 27 and I’m over drinking ALL the time, going to jail, and being thrown out of bars. We were still “seeing other people” too & I told him that I wasn’t cool with that any more because we’d been dating for 8 months. Sooo, I told him that I didn’t think our relationship was going anywhere and we needed to move on.

He actually took it quite well. He told me that he was still wild and needed to get it out of his system and that he’s probably regret that later on…but he could see that I needed someone more mature that knows what they want in life. He said he was sad. I really was too.

He asked if we were still friends and I said yes. I went and got us a beer and he wanted a cig so I smoked ONE with him. I know, I know…but it was just one and it tasted nasty as hell. We watched a movie and then he got ready to leave. We both shed a tear or too and he was on his way.

Soooo that’s the scoop.

Q: Are you really doing ok?

A: About the thing with D or life in general??

About the D thing: Yes, I am cool with it. He was getting on my nerves and I really am looking for something deeper than what we had going on. Basically we were just friends that had sex 24/7. I am alittle sad, just because I do like him and I will miss hanging out with him. But – all in all, I think its what I needed to do.

About life in general : I don’t know. I think I am ok. I’ve certainly been better and I’ve certainly been worse. The thing with D made me sad, I like a girl but she doesn’t like me, my feelings were alittle hurt over the weekend, I am sleeping sporadically even taking vistaril and trazodone, I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel really held down. I don’t necessarily even know what that means, but I feel like theres a huge weight on me. Even though all of that sucks, I am functioning. I am going to work & doing stuff like that. My house is nasty and I am procrastinating as far as a lot of work goes (stuff I do on the side). I think I will make it. I am tired. I don’t feel good. My head is really going slow. I have no concentration whatsoever….but I am alive and I am glad about that most of the time. So, I would say Yes, I’m going to be fine.