Sat. nite

I’ve forgotten why I write here. It doesn’t make sense. I think at first I thought maybe I could help someone else….be someone that another person could relate to. It seems like its become nothing more than a memoir of madness, a journal of my descent. My head hurts. I think it’s the meds. They always make me sick when there is some change. I burned because I thought it would make my head stop hurting….it did for a whole half hour. Now I just have more pain…not smart. My brothers birthday is tomorrow. That’s the only thing that’s kept me hanging on today. I think the meds have given me a weird sort of energy…a pissed off energy…energy to hurt myself…not good. I don’t think Im going to be able to sleep. Im ready for this crap to stop.