Alone
Im feeling really alone. I dont know why, I hung out with my family today and did stuff with them over the weekend....but when I get home and Im not busy, things just falter. I try playing my guitar and reading and it just doesnt keep the thoughts from racing in my head that I am by myself. I feel very little connection to the outside world. I know that probably makes no sense...but maybe it does to some of you bipolar folk.
Im thinking about going to a concert in Memphis with my brother for his birthday. I want to see blue october. A lot of other bands will be there also....10 years, Saliva, Candlebox...I dont remember who else, but it should be cool. Ive just got to come up with some money. Thats another thing that bothers me....money. Doesnt it bother everyone? You can never have enough. I am broke as hell....hoping for a raise at work, but who knows.
Anyway, nothing going on except lonliness.
posted by Jil at 6:14 PM
7 Comments:
You may find, after a time, that being connected to the outside world is over-rated.
I have been trying at least since high school to find people to feel some "connection" with, and, aside from the occasional blogger and/or BBS participant, it simply hasn't happened all that often.
Perhaps I should take up something more productive - like thumb twiddling. :)
7:24 PM
Lonliness is the worst feeling in the world. Especially those times you feel it in a room full of people you know. You know?
Anyway, yeah. I understand. Work. Friends. Yeah.
6:41 AM
I'm so sorry that you're feeling alone right now. I know how that feels, and I also know that having someone tell you that it will pass just doesn't help.
12:56 PM
I know the alone feeling, it is always worse for me after spending mroe time around other people. I have a husband and kids, but after spending time out with other people it always leaves me feeling so alone. I always thought it was just me and I was silly, but I've heard other bipolar people talking about that.
I have fallen in love with blue october, listen to them a lot lately.
1:11 PM
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. Dan's right, it's one of the worst feelings. But remember, you aren't alone, there are lots who care about you & love you. I hope you feel better soon.
2:27 PM
you're not alone. we're right here. you always know where to find me, babe, you got my digits.
6:33 PM
I wrote down a comment on your post "Beign Sick" and I do not know what da** happened. Anyway, you should remember that everyone is alone. No one is really with something whom fills up all its needings. I've got few friends which don't care a lot about me, for example in my last birthday I just received a message and a gift from one of them. This one is it the truly one? who knows? But after all I know I can enjoy more my lonliness than people which can't be alone for a moment and always have to be with someone else.
Money, I feel exactly the same as you feels about. I can't afford to pay my study and that hurts me more than not to pay a nice trip or expensive cloth as all my friends whom their parents helps them do. Money one of the everyone's causes of deppresion and blue.
Aren't you doing something? Actually, you are doing something! Your English is great (clear and correct) and you are helping me to improve myself. I can't write well, I know and it's harsh to me to improve myself and practise. But, what am I doing now? Writing! and all because of your wonderfull blog.
xxx
10:00 PM
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