Valentines Day

I wrote this long post yesterday, sent it through email and it apparently fell in the black hole so Im trying again. Please excuse the lack of punctuation; I have major difficulties with font issues when I email posts.

 

Anyway, since yesterday was Valentines Day, a question popped into my head. How hard is it for bipolar folks to find love?

 

I must say that I think its extremely hard for bipolar singles to date. I know its hard being in a relationship when you are diagnosed also. I have been in both situations.

 

I was in a relationship with Linda when I accepted my bipolar diagnosis. She was very supportive and wanted to help me in any way she could. I was lucky. However, I didn�t want to listen, would not accept her help, and ended up driving her away. I was the one who left, but only because my depression and her drinking had driven us so far apart. I thought we could fix things if we spent time apart, but I was wrong.

 

I took a major leave of absence from the dating scene after I broke up with Linda. I met D at work and I liked hanging out with him. That hard question arose: When do I tell him? Do I tell him at the beginning and risk being abandoned or ostracized?  I have major abandonment issues apart from my bipolarness. Do I wait and tell him later, when we�ve known each other long enough for him to like me?

 

I decided to tell him early on. I did not want to feel like I was lying to him. He appreciated me telling him. He was very accepting, but really didn�t know what being bipolar meant. He did not understand why I took meds every day. He thought I should be able to work things out myself. He did not get it when I was so depressed that I didnt want to get out from underneath my covers. He got on my nerves with other things anyway, and I felt like I should be with someone who really understands what it means, or at least wants to learn. So, I dumped him.

 

Now I am back in the position where I have to go out, meet people, do the dating thing again, and tell the bipolar story. That�s how it goes. Its hard to find someone that says it doesn�t matter when you announce that you are mentally ill!

 

Anyway, I just wanted yalls opinion. I am saving this in case the black hole gets it again!